all I want is you (for Kate)

[duerespectguv]

Magnus found and returned to Will made for a good day and now two days later, it seems everything's back to some semblance of normal. There's still the bit about Kate bolting on him the morning Magnus disappeared but Declan's learned the best way to get Kate to talk is just to wait her out and she'll come around eventually; pressuring her doesn't seem to do any good.

He's settled in with a book, this one on boat-building of all crazy things and wonders if it's really true that they can't get off the island. He's seen a few boats, fishing boats, and there's that pirate ship but nothing like a cruise liner or a battleship and if they had one of those, maybe they could get home. Magnus and Will might not want to go home but Declan does because Declan can't stand feeling useless. This island makes him useless.

When he hears the door crack to his hut, he doesn't get up. It's Kate, if anyone, because Magnus and Will would knock and Tesla would have already announced himself by now.

"Bedroom," he calls out, not that she'll need the direction.

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[duerespectguv]

Declan's not as deft at reading people as Kate but he can tell something's shifted and he stills, worried. He tries to catch her glance but she's tilted her head back and he can't see.

"Kate?"

[girlsolo.livejournal.com]

"It's..." She won't lie to him. It's the one promise she can make. "I don't..." Her jaw locks around the words, and she finally just tips her head up to kiss him again. "I don't do this. With anyone. It's just..."

What, Freelander? It's not bad.

"Never been--" My thing? Something I let myself have? She shakes her head a little. "It's just new," she settles on. It's true. And the reasons can wait til later. Forever.

[duerespectguv]

"We'll work on it then," Declan says, glad that it's just that and not that he'd hurt her. He cares about her, more than he's cared about a woman in a long time and hurting her is completely against his agenda.

It's easy enough to resume moving in her and after a few thrusts, he tugs at her thigh to flip them so she's on top.

"On top? Good with you?"

[girlsolo.livejournal.com]

"Tired, babe," Kate murmurs, smiling though as she comes up on top of him. She is. Completely wrung out. "View's nice."

Leaning down to him, she gives him the truth she has for him in a kiss - with him, she'll try - and then starts to move for him. Slow, like he wants it, and draws his hands up her body and back down. An invitation.

[duerespectguv]

"View's nice from here too," Declan admits, running his hands over her body before settling them on her hips. His thrusts upward are a little more erratic than before, he's close, but he holds off out of sheer stubborn will. It won't last him long.

"Beautiful, Kate. You're beautiful."

[girlsolo.livejournal.com]

"Damn right I am," is what she says, confident and cocky and proud. The less thought about how it feels, the safer. Kate's just going to chalk all that up to being well-fucked and exhausted and Declan being team.

She smiles, though, and drops down to her hands by his shoulders and pushes her ass down to keep him in her, deep, while she takes over the rhythm from him. "So good, babe," she murmurs at him, kissing him on every forward swing. Her breasts rub against his chest, too, and every time he bottoms out, it's like a mini-O.

[duerespectguv]

It doesn't take much at all with the change in angle and when Declan comes, it's not the white-hot flash it had been the first time. It's slower, more steady, and when he's done he tries to make quick work of the condom so he can tug her down into his arms.

Once she's there, though, he speaks in a low, satisfied voice that belies every emotion he's trying to (badly) hide.

"Glad you're here, Kate. Out of everyone, glad you're here."

[girlsolo.livejournal.com]

Kate's about to kiss him and get up to wash up, maybe leave, when he goes and says the one thing that can keep her here. It's not the words as much as his tells. All of them. Glad you're here isn't just good fuck, love or even that he cares about her too much. Maybe he hides it better, but Declan's lost here too. She makes him feel less lost.

How is she supposed to ignore that?

No promises. No lies. Kate kisses his neck and shoulder and lets herself be held. Because he needs it.

[duerespectguv]

Declan needs it more than he's willing to admit out loud and when he falls asleep, it's with her close by so he doesn't feel so alone. It works, too, and for the first time in a while, Declan falls asleep actually content with the personal half of his life.

He wakes up content too, Kate calm in his arms and he's glad for it because it hadn't been that way the whole night. After she'd washed up, her sleep had been restless and he wondered what she dreamt about that had her moving so much.

"Morning, Katie. Still asleep?"

[girlsolo.livejournal.com]

"Unless there's coffee, breakfast, and a morning meeting, yeah," she says as she she stretches, voice straining and pulling with her arms, until she tucks back in with her head on his chest and her hands curled by her chin. Then she sounds sleepy, warm and a little sweet. "Or sex, I'd be awake for sex."

She opens one eye, glances up at him, half-smiles and closes it again. "Otherwise, I'm asleep. Very very asleep."

[duerespectguv]

"No coffee or sex just yet," Declan says, amused at how, well, how bloody cute she was being. It's not something he'd ever expected out of Kate but he finds he likes it and wants to make it happen more often.

"Just me, if you can put up with it," he murmurs, hand pulling through her hair.

[girlsolo.livejournal.com]

Kate makes a soft, contented sound, as she unfolds one arm to pet his chest. She likes waking up with someone. Especially here. It means at least one thing is how she left it the night before.

"Think I can hack it." Her hand slides lower. Not for sex but to rest protectively over the space below his ribcage. He can take care of himself, but if anyone hurts him, they'll answer to her. On the other hand... "You tell anyone I'm a cuddler, I'll gut you." She's half teasing.

[duerespectguv]

"On my life, you won't hear it from me," Declan promises, oddly solemn during something that should be playful. He cracks, though, and grins at her. He likes that she's a cuddler even if it wreaks havoc with the badass image; he's a bit of a cuddler too.

"This is a good thing. What happened last night? I think it's good for us."

[girlsolo.livejournal.com]

Whimpering softly, Kate nuzzles in against his neck to hide her face. "Do we have to talk about it? Can't we just...be whatever we are?" There are so many reasons not to talk about it. If they don't talk about it, she won't have to dodge or lie.

He deserves more than this, though, so she murmurs a quiet, "It's good. We're good. I like being with you."

[duerespectguv]

"I do care about you, Kate," Declan says, unsure if that's too much. "Not to overwhelm you or anything, but it's not just a fuck where I'm concerned. I don't do that. I care about you and respect the person you've become since you hooked up with Magnus."

[girlsolo.livejournal.com]

Kate sighs and rests her forehead on his chest for a minute. This sucks, talking about this, but it's not like she has a choice if he wants to. Sure, she could shut him down. But he's...

She sighs again and rolls her head to the side to look at him. "Declan, I don't do this. What we're doing right now. I don't cuddle with the guys or girls I fuck. I curl up with Hank or Biggie, and Will tries to give hugs like lollipops if I open my mouth to talk. Sex is something I do on the side. Safer for everyone and I can't fuck it up."

Kate pauses, waiting, to see if he picks it up before she says, "But I'm still here. I'd be five hours gone with no forwarding address if it were someone else. But I'm still here. Because it's you."

[duerespectguv]

"Why's that, then? What makes it different with me than it was with the bloke that bruised you all up?"

Declan hasn't forgotten that and he hasn't forgotten how angry he'd felt when he saw her hurt that way. Maybe she'd wanted it, she seemed adamant that she did, but that's not how he treats a woman.

[girlsolo.livejournal.com]

"He didn't bruise me up, Declan. We bruised each other and half-destroyed the door to the hut we were fucking in." It hurts, him thinking like that. She'd thought they were over that.

Kate pulls away and sits up, in case she decides she's had enough. "Why do you have to say it like that? I'm not a domestic violence case, Declan. I just...I just like a little ow with my ohmygod sometimes."

What makes him different? Right now, she wants to say that he somehow thinks it's his business who she fucks and how. But she bites her tongue. Literally. Because she's not going to lie to him. Even though the fight of flight urge is rising. Fast.

[duerespectguv]

"Because I would be good to you, Kate, the way you deserve," Declan says but as soon as it's out, he regrets it. She wanted it rough and sought it out. Maybe he's just wondering if she's going to keep seeking it out because he can't give it to her.

[girlsolo.livejournal.com]

Kate's so close to tears her jaw aches and her palms are going to start bleeding any second from how deep her nails cut into them. She can't tell him again that she wanted it. She just can't. He doesn't get it. Maybe if he's still talking to her later, she'll explain it's about the same as a guy picking a fight at a bar, even though she's done that in the past too.

Instead, now, she laughs, raw and bitter. "I'm a con artist, a thief, a grifter, a smuggler, a kidnapper, even got hired as a contract killer. I deserve the inside of a cell, Declan. Not to be set on some kind of pedestal."

[duerespectguv]

"I'm not putting you on a bloody pedestal, Kate, and even if I were, the past doesn't erase your present," Declan says, frustrated with himself and with her.

"Your past means nothing to me."

[girlsolo.livejournal.com]

"It should!"

This is why she doesn't do this. Because they start thinking she's something she's not. They forget that she's a liar and a thief and if he's already this upset, it's just going to be so much worse when he cares more and she fucks it all up and breaks his heart.

"It should," she says, choking on all of the emotion. She doesn't want it to matter. That's the truth. But it should. She doesn't deserve anything this good.

[duerespectguv]

"Kate, I'm sorry I said anything. I just have a hard time wrapping my head around the idea that..."

What, MacRae? Out with it.

"If you've got some bloke who gives it to you hard and fast the way you like then why in the world would you come back to me, yeah? I couldn't ever hurt you like that. You are a good woman and you've made mistakes, but we all have. Magnus wouldn't have you around if you weren't good, Kate, and if she didn't see something in you. She's not the sort to use someone to do her dirty work and she won't abide having someone work for her that's not aligned with her morals. Who you are shaped you but it isn't all you are."

[girlsolo.livejournal.com]

It cuts so close to...everything...that Kate's stunned breathless. He seriously could've kicked her in the ribs and gotten less of a reaction. But now she can't say anything. What is she supposed to say when that's what she's been trying to tell Will and Magnus. That she's not that person anymore.

She's not, not when it comes to work and whether they can trust her. But she is still the girl who did all those things.

All she can say is, "He's just a booty call. He's no one important." Even though she likes Aidan, he's not. Important. Not at all. "He doesn't know anything about me."

[duerespectguv]

"And I do," Declan finishes. "Which is why I care about you and why I worry."

Maybe it's a little stupid of him to worry about her when she can clearly handle herself but it's what he does with his team and his people: worry.