oct 20 - for Kate

[duerespectguv]

"Let's go," Declan says, but he doesn't make a move to release her from his arms. "In a few, though, I'm not inclined to let you go just yet."

Damn, he was gone on her. Too gone.

It's sort of a long walk from the Hub to his hut and that's mostly by design. Declan likes having something that's easily defended in the case of an attack and the hut being isolated as it is has a good visibility for anyone coming in. If he knows it's coming, he can be prepared. Of course, that's all worst-case scenario and a bit dire but it doesn't hurt to be prepared for everything. It's that same motto that's kept his head attached to his shoulders for the past forty some years.

When they get there (and he's not calling it home even if he concedes to being stuck here for a while - home is an antique bed in London with fantastic sheets and a great view), it's automatic to open the door for her even if Kate Freelander's not the sort of woman who needs doors opened for her.

"After you, Katie."

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[duerespectguv]

"Shit...missed you too," Declan manages, voice catching at the feel of her hand wrapped around his cock. It hasn't even been that long since they fucked and it feels like years already and he's desperate for every touch she gives him.

[girlsolo.livejournal.com]

Now that she's got her hand around him, she slows it down. Long strokes, curled fingers catching behind the head and thumb sliding across it. Thumb swiping over his sac, too, when her hand hits the base again. Kate matches her kisses to it, tongue stroking across his, lips chasing connection after connection.

She's never done anything like this. Not with anyone. It's going to be a thing for them, she decides. When she promises, they're going to do this a lot.

[duerespectguv]

It's something Declan never would have come up with wanting by himself but somehow when she's doing this, it doesn't seem any less sexy than a blowjob or intercourse. He deepens his kisses, hand winding deep into her hair without tugging, and rocks his hips up toward her hand.

[girlsolo.livejournal.com]

Fuck he feels good. His dick in her hand, his hand in her hair, his mouth...fuck, his mouth, and that push of his hips. Even if he's not in her, her body knows the rhythm. Somehow it stops being about getting him off and starts being about them. They're doing this together.

"Declan." Her voice matches her hands, greedy-soft. It's so fucked up how much she wants him. Wants all of this.

[duerespectguv]

"Not going to last," he warns, unsure if he'll get another chance. She works him up quicker than most women and he hasn't been with anyone in the past few years but her so he's already hard up for it. He misses her, misses this, and wishes there was a way to make her promise she won't go to anyone else for it.

"Too...too damn good, Katie."

[girlsolo.livejournal.com]

She can keep him from coming, cinch her fingers around his sac and the base of his cock in a ring. Not tonight. That's for when she can suck him until he begs and he can flip her and fuck her through the mattress.

Her fist moves faster over him, the wet sounds and hot glide driving her out of her mind. "Please, babe. Want it," she whisper-growls at him before she dives into another kiss. Want you. Just you.

[duerespectguv]

It's not much to push him from almost there to there and when he comes, it's almost a relief. It's messy and inelegant and when he kisses her, his teeth might be a little too harsh against her lips but it's about all the finesse Declan can manage.

"Fucking...amazing, Kate."

[girlsolo.livejournal.com]

"Katie," she pushes at him, an urgent whisper. Right now, right here, she's his and just his. The mess of his come all over her hand, between her fingers, against his belly proves it. This is what she wants.

She touches his face with her clean hand, kisses him again, sweeter and smiles. "What did you do to me, babe?"

[duerespectguv]

"Not nearly enough," Declan pants, smiling lazily at her. "Even though I just came, I still want you, and I'm going to have to settle for just having you next to me tonight instead of...what I actually want."

[girlsolo.livejournal.com]

Her fingers close around his forearm and her eyes soften, pain in them. "I'm sorry," Kate whispers, head dropping forward so her hair screens what she doesn't have the will to hide.

It sucks. It sucks so hard. She wants to promise. She will promise. Soon. She just has to know she can keep it.

"I can go, if that's easier."

[duerespectguv]

"What? No," Declan says quickly. "I want you to stay. It's just hard right now but we'll figure it out, one way or the other. Doesn't mean I don't want to see you, though, and I do."

His voice softens. "Stay, Katie."

[girlsolo.livejournal.com]

Kate rests her cheek on his shoulder. It's kind of awkward, holding her come-coated hand away from both of them, so she rests it on his thigh. "Okay."

She's raw. Flayed to blood and bone. "It is hard," she admits with a tired sigh, lips brushing his throat. "I know why you won't, and I get it. It hurts anyway."

[duerespectguv]

"I don't mean to hurt you," Declan promises. "You know it's the last thing I want. The absolute last thing I ever want is to hurt you."

Declan wonders if maybe he should rethink the boundaries he set down if he's hurting her but he's not going to say anything unless she brings it up.

[girlsolo.livejournal.com]

"I know you don't, babe." She looks up at him from his shoulder, over at her hand, rubs her fingers together until the worst of the mess is dried, then slides that arm around him too.

There's the proof she's FUBARed. She's not just mixing sex and cuddling. She actually wants to be held.

"And if it was just me I'd hurt if I screwed up, I'd have promised already. I can risk me, but I won't risk you."

It's the same conversation. Over and over. But if she can't say yes yet, she needs him to know that she wants to. That he's what she wants. She's just afraid she'll hurt him.

[duerespectguv]

"So we'll wait," Declan says and presses a kiss to the top of her head. "We'll wait until you can promise and not be risking either of us and we'll be right, in the end. I just need you to know I'd never hurt you."

[girlsolo.livejournal.com]

It's probably stupid. Not promising. But it feels like...kind of like the stealing. She's got to get right in her head about this before she can. Even if she kept the promise, making it now isn't right. She has things to do first.

"Does it piss you off that you're sure and I won't promise?" She worries about that. That he'll get tired of waiting.

[duerespectguv]

"No," Declan says honestly. "I'm not upset that you won't promise. I'd rather you wait and be sure than give me the words and break them later, Kate. The former, I understand, the latter would be incredibly painful for me."

[girlsolo.livejournal.com]

"That's a promise I can make." Her voice is quiet, soft with way too fucking many emotions. She lifts her head to look him in the eyes. "If I give you my word, I won't break it. Ever. It might not work, you and me, but it won't be because I cheated on you."

She doesn't give her word. She doesn't make promises. She flies solo. So when she does give her word, make a promise, join a team, that's it. It's done. For good.

[duerespectguv]

"Then I think we'll be just fine," Declan says softly. "And I hope you're able to make that promise to me someday but I am never, ever going to stop being your friend, Kate."

[girlsolo.livejournal.com]

Kate opens her mouth to say yeah, yeah, whatever, but what comes out is, "Promise?" At least it doesn't sound as hurt and lost as it feels. "I don't want to lose you, Declan. I don't..." She didn't want to lose this. Being with him like this.

Call a spade a spade, Freelander. Being his girlfriend.

[duerespectguv]

"Promise," Declan says softly. It's sincere because he never says anything to Kate about this, about the important things, without being dead serious about it.

"We're going to be just fine."

[girlsolo.livejournal.com]

He's so full of faith. So sure of himself, of her. It's kind of humbling. Not something she's got any real experience with. Humility. And this is such new ground, she has no idea what to say except, "Okay."

She rakes her teeth across her bottom lip. "Sorry I'm so all over the place. Want you and trying to be good about it's chafing."

[duerespectguv]

"I want you just as much," Declan promises.

"I want more than anything to just say the hell with it and have you whether you want to be exclusive with me or not but I know it'd just make us miserable in the end if I put expectations on you that you didn't keep. It's better this way so you can know exactly what you want."

[girlsolo.livejournal.com]

"At least you just got off," Kate says, winces and curls closer again. His skin, his warmth, it helps soothe the edges off it. "Not asking, not trying to push. I'm just wound pretty tight. I should probably go do something about that or I'm not going to sleep."

[duerespectguv]

"You could let me do something about it," Declan suggests, running a hand through her hair when she settles again. "If you wanted, anyway."