oct 20 - for Kate

[duerespectguv]

"Let's go," Declan says, but he doesn't make a move to release her from his arms. "In a few, though, I'm not inclined to let you go just yet."

Damn, he was gone on her. Too gone.

It's sort of a long walk from the Hub to his hut and that's mostly by design. Declan likes having something that's easily defended in the case of an attack and the hut being isolated as it is has a good visibility for anyone coming in. If he knows it's coming, he can be prepared. Of course, that's all worst-case scenario and a bit dire but it doesn't hurt to be prepared for everything. It's that same motto that's kept his head attached to his shoulders for the past forty some years.

When they get there (and he's not calling it home even if he concedes to being stuck here for a while - home is an antique bed in London with fantastic sheets and a great view), it's automatic to open the door for her even if Kate Freelander's not the sort of woman who needs doors opened for her.

"After you, Katie."

Comments

[duerespectguv]

"When's the first time you fell in love?"

It's a highly personal question and he has a highly personal answer of his own for it but he wants to know what she says or if she tries to brush it off.

[girlsolo.livejournal.com]

Her gaze flicks up to his, soft and startled. She covers quick, drawing her fingertips down the arm that's around her.

"Never," Kate tells him after a few long, quiet minutes. "I think Magnus is the closest I ever came to that, and it doesn't count when it's someone you can never have."

[duerespectguv]

"It counts," Declan promises.

"Watson, for me, on that count but nothing ever came of it. I'm not normally...with men but he was different. First time, though, this girl I met before I joined the SAS. Loved her. She didn't love me half as much, caught her in bed with a mate of mine first time I decided to surprise her on leave."

[girlsolo.livejournal.com]

"I wonder if that's a thing. People falling for their first Head of house when they come in from outside. I mean...Will, right?" But that's different, since Magnus loves Will.

Kate rubs a soothing hand up his arm. "Guess that's why you can't...you know, with me."

[duerespectguv]

"There's a mystery about them that makes you love them, yeah. But they're special in their own right, too."

At the last, he presses his lips together and nods. "Yeah. Can't do it, love, not without a promise. It would be different if I didn't care about you but I do and I simply...I can't."

[girlsolo.livejournal.com]

Kate wants to tell him it was never the mystery with Magnus. It was always the strength, and Magnus's faith in her. And Magnus opening her home and her life to her. It sounds ridiculous.

And it doesn't mean anything at all with Declan looking at her like that.

"I know," she tells him and scoots a little closer. "It's...since I've been with the Sanctuary, I don't make promises unless I know I can keep them. It's too important to me, you guys trusting me. I can't risk that. Without it..." Kate rolls her shoulder, squashing down the flood of panic just at thought of who she is if they stop trusting her. "I won't promise for the same reason you can't do it. I care, babe, but I have to be sure."

[duerespectguv]

"I respect that," Declan says, tipping her chin up slightly before leaning in to kiss her. He hasn't cared about a woman as much as he cares about Kate in a long while and it feels good, even if it's difficult right now.

For now, there's a kiss, and he tries to put as much emotion and built up tension into it as he can.

[girlsolo.livejournal.com]

Kate doesn't have to work at it. Declan's mouth over hers flips every trigger, pushes every button, answer every single need that no one else she's been with can even touch no matter how hard they fuck her.

Her lips part and her tongue brushes his. It's a slow and soft, breath traded for breath, even more than a kiss. It's huge, but she doesn't run. Just lets it go on and on and on.

[duerespectguv]

It feels natural to roll them slightly and put Kate under him and Declan does, his teeth teasing at her lower lip for a moment before he's kissing her again. He hasn't kissed like this in years, possibly never, and it feels good to not rush it and just go where it takes him.

He's never been the kind of man to engage in long stretches of kissing just for kissing's sake but now, because it's the only real sexual contact he can have with Kate, he's savoring it.

[girlsolo.livejournal.com]

All her life, Kate's never wanted this, not that she can remember. She's never wanted to be pinned under a guy, sharing long, sweet, slow kisses that stretch out for hours and days. That's a lie she's told herself forever, but it's a lie Declan makes it okay not to believe anymore.

She smiles up at him, lips still pressed against his where they curve, and learns the feel of his chest and shoulder with the pads of her fingers. Soon, she promises him, silently, promises herself, then yields into kisses again.

[duerespectguv]

It takes a while before Declan's able to break away from the kissing, just stroking her hair back off her face and looking at her like the worst kind of sap.

"We were asking questions, weren't we?"

[girlsolo.livejournal.com]

No one's ever looked at her like that before. Like if she wanted to be, she could be his whole world. Her fight or flight impulse kicks hard, but that's only because the rest of her already threw its damn self into this fire.

Her eyes close and she tilts her face into his hand. It's just a simple touch. It shouldn't feel this good. "Tell me something about you that Will and Magnus and Tesla don't know."

[duerespectguv]

"I have four sisters and I was raised by my grandmother," Declan says, reasonably sure none of them know that.

"James is the only person in the network who ever knew that, everyone else merely has my military record. I never told anyone else about my family. So that's for you, then."

[girlsolo.livejournal.com]

"You know a lot about me that no one else knows," Kate says quietly, eyes still closed, but she tilts her head further to kiss his palm.

"I was there the day that Jimmy blew up the PD and my dad got killed. My mom was pregnant and she went into labor from the shock. I was really scared when they took her away into the delivery room. They wouldn't let me go in and my dad didn't come and we had no family in Chicago. That was the first time I ran away. I didn't get far before the cops picked me up but I wouldn't tell them where to take me. It took them four hours to figure it out."

[duerespectguv]

"I'm sorry, Katie," Declan says softly even if it's nothing he should be sorry for or apologize to her about. He feels like someone ought to, even if it has to be someone who wasn't involved at all.

"You just have the one sibling, then?"

[girlsolo.livejournal.com]

Lots of people said they were sorry over the years. Mom. Aunts, uncles, cousins, cops, caseworkers, Magnus. It never really mattered, except the one time with Magnus. Too little too late, since she'd already learned the lesson that no one would be there forever, no one would hold your hand, no one would hold you. She had to do that herself.

It's the true lie. The big one she's been telling herself since Thad was born, and she's going to keep believing it. But tonight, right now, Declan's soft apology, the hand in her hair, the warmth of him looking for nothing but to know her, it pushes at her faith in it.

She kisses him instead of tucking herself into his arms, then nods. "Thad. Makes me look like Mother Theresa, I swear. He's a complete idiot. What about yours?"

[duerespectguv]

"Mostly well-behaved. A banker, an accountant, a solicitor and an artist. That one's younger than me, Moira, and she's always been a little kookier than the rest of us," Declan says, grinning with the memory.

"The others are Elizabeth, Gemma and Clare. I know entirely too much about the habits of women as a result."

[girlsolo.livejournal.com]

"You're good with them, anyway." Kate smiles when she says it and bumps his thigh with her knee. He is good with them, good with her, most of the time. "I probably don't want to know, but what would they think of me?"

She cares, though. That's the problem. She never cares. But it matters what Declan's family would think of her.

[duerespectguv]

"Not sure. I think Moira would like you a good deal, though," Declan supplies, though he doesn't think his older sisters would look too kindly upon her.

"Doesn't matter. I like you, that's what matters."

[girlsolo.livejournal.com]

Kate props her head up on her hand, frowning. "Which is a really nice way of saying the others would hate me." She sighs and shakes her head at him. "Why do you want this, Declan? Would you want it at home?"

It's not that she's got any self-esteem problems. She likes herself fine most of the time. But Declan can do so much better than her and her stacks of baggage and bad attitude.

[duerespectguv]

"I would want it at home. I'm not in the business of justifying why I care about you, love. I do, and that's that."

Firm, yes, but not unkind or at least Declan doesn't think so. He just doesn't like having to qualify why he cares about her as if he's having to justify it.

[girlsolo.livejournal.com]

"I'm not..." Kate sighs and reaches across the small space she's put between them to run her fingers over his arm. "It's just hard to get my head around sometimes, babe. Think about it. You're head of your own House, you're crazy-good at all the political crap and at the stuff in the field, plus you're polished and gorgeous. And..."

And what, Freelander? Spit it out.

She glances down at the bed, shrugs, then back up at him through her lashes. "We're getting pretty serious. I'm getting pretty serious. I've never done this before and I don't know how to know it's the right thing. So I guess I just...want to know that you do. That you're sure."

Of course, now her heart's pounding a mile a minute, scared-rabbit quick. Not when she's in IPD custody or explaining to Magnus why she did what she did or when Danny's looking like he's going to stroke out at her. But now. When she's close enough he can see the pulse jumping in her throat.

[duerespectguv]

"I don't feel like this with any other person, Katie," Declan says softly, looping his arm over her hips to draw her flush to him. He's falling, hard and fast, and he suspects it might just be the same for her.

When he leans in to kiss her, it's a little soft at first, tentative, before he slants his mouth over hers and need hits him full force.

[girlsolo.livejournal.com]

Her heart's still pounding and she's getting drawn and quartered between the impulse to run and the instinct to be as close to him as possible. Kissing doesn't help at all, because she wants him so much that it just scares her more. He's not even wearing a shirt she can tangle her fingers in.

The only thing that makes sense is to pull him over her again and offer up. He'll stop them if he can't handle it.

[duerespectguv]

It's not too much right now, not when he's pressed up against her and her mouth is offering up to his so easily. It's...it's almost too much to really think about and it's easier to just do right now.

God, he wants this with her. He wants her but he can't do this unless he's the only one.