oct 20 - for Kate

[duerespectguv]

"Let's go," Declan says, but he doesn't make a move to release her from his arms. "In a few, though, I'm not inclined to let you go just yet."

Damn, he was gone on her. Too gone.

It's sort of a long walk from the Hub to his hut and that's mostly by design. Declan likes having something that's easily defended in the case of an attack and the hut being isolated as it is has a good visibility for anyone coming in. If he knows it's coming, he can be prepared. Of course, that's all worst-case scenario and a bit dire but it doesn't hurt to be prepared for everything. It's that same motto that's kept his head attached to his shoulders for the past forty some years.

When they get there (and he's not calling it home even if he concedes to being stuck here for a while - home is an antique bed in London with fantastic sheets and a great view), it's automatic to open the door for her even if Kate Freelander's not the sort of woman who needs doors opened for her.

"After you, Katie."

Comments

[girlsolo.livejournal.com]

Kate glances back when he takes hold of her foot, eyebrow lifting. "Is this because we're not fucking? Because if it is, you might want to rethink your tactics." Thanks for being so sweet even when you're getting nothing out of it.

"That's tricky. It depends on whether it's favorite funny memory, favorite Sanctuary memory, favorite all-time, favorite Declan memory..." Yeah, she's stalling, but memories are hard on the island and she didn't have that many good ones before the Sanctuary to begin with.

[duerespectguv]

"This is because you're my Katie. Now, you're stalling," Declan says pointedly, rubbing his thumbs into the arch of her foot.

"Favorite Declan memory, then. If that's going to be easiest?"

[girlsolo.livejournal.com]

My Katie. Kate has to fight back a whimper for how hard her heart flips in her chest at that. She wants to tell him they're making it now. There are others that are less incriminating and as true.

"First time I saw you on the island," Kate says after a minute. "I don't think I've ever been so happy to see anyone in my life. Before that, though--" Her mouth twists, lips pursing. "Looking at you across Magnus's desk and wondering if you were thinking what I was thinking about Will's reservation at Alfredo's. Your turn, favorite Kate memory on the island and before."

[duerespectguv]

"I'll give you a bonus answer. No, because nobody forgoes Alfredo's for sex. The food is sex." That said, he might slide in a bit late if he and Kate ever get a chance to take a date there.

"Before...hmm. Probably when you filched this phone off a Lotus operative with a little sleight of hand and a big smile. I've got it bad for cons, I suppose. And here, well. The first time I kissed you at the bookshelf."

[girlsolo.livejournal.com]

"I meant after we knew they were missing it. I was thinking we should pretend to be Will and Abby and go." She vaguely remembers telling him that already, but it was probably before the kiss he's talking about and, yeah, she doesn't remember much but the kiss.

"Anyway, I did that? Was that in Carentan? Classic lift technique. Get up close and flirt, confuse or fluster while you slip a hand in a pocket." Kate rolls face up and puts her hands behind her head. "I want to know more about Carentan. Maybe not tonight, but soon. I know it sucks to have memories of me that I don't share. I want to fix that. Tonight, hm. First kiss, who was it and when?"

[duerespectguv]

"Valarie Beck, when I was thirteen. It was terrible but I was glad to have gotten it anyway. What about you?"

Declan stops massaging for the moment and lays down on his side next to her, one hand resting against her stomach.

[girlsolo.livejournal.com]

"Tommy Toretti, when I was eleven. Under the El near Wrigley Field. It was all right, but he tasted like anchovies." She makes a face. "Blech."

Kate tells herself there's nothing significant about her rolling up on her hip to wrap her arm around his hips. She's just comfortable with him and doesn't need as much space, that's all. "What else do you want to know about me?"

[duerespectguv]

"When's the first time you fell in love?"

It's a highly personal question and he has a highly personal answer of his own for it but he wants to know what she says or if she tries to brush it off.

[girlsolo.livejournal.com]

Her gaze flicks up to his, soft and startled. She covers quick, drawing her fingertips down the arm that's around her.

"Never," Kate tells him after a few long, quiet minutes. "I think Magnus is the closest I ever came to that, and it doesn't count when it's someone you can never have."

[duerespectguv]

"It counts," Declan promises.

"Watson, for me, on that count but nothing ever came of it. I'm not normally...with men but he was different. First time, though, this girl I met before I joined the SAS. Loved her. She didn't love me half as much, caught her in bed with a mate of mine first time I decided to surprise her on leave."

[girlsolo.livejournal.com]

"I wonder if that's a thing. People falling for their first Head of house when they come in from outside. I mean...Will, right?" But that's different, since Magnus loves Will.

Kate rubs a soothing hand up his arm. "Guess that's why you can't...you know, with me."

[duerespectguv]

"There's a mystery about them that makes you love them, yeah. But they're special in their own right, too."

At the last, he presses his lips together and nods. "Yeah. Can't do it, love, not without a promise. It would be different if I didn't care about you but I do and I simply...I can't."

[girlsolo.livejournal.com]

Kate wants to tell him it was never the mystery with Magnus. It was always the strength, and Magnus's faith in her. And Magnus opening her home and her life to her. It sounds ridiculous.

And it doesn't mean anything at all with Declan looking at her like that.

"I know," she tells him and scoots a little closer. "It's...since I've been with the Sanctuary, I don't make promises unless I know I can keep them. It's too important to me, you guys trusting me. I can't risk that. Without it..." Kate rolls her shoulder, squashing down the flood of panic just at thought of who she is if they stop trusting her. "I won't promise for the same reason you can't do it. I care, babe, but I have to be sure."

[duerespectguv]

"I respect that," Declan says, tipping her chin up slightly before leaning in to kiss her. He hasn't cared about a woman as much as he cares about Kate in a long while and it feels good, even if it's difficult right now.

For now, there's a kiss, and he tries to put as much emotion and built up tension into it as he can.

[girlsolo.livejournal.com]

Kate doesn't have to work at it. Declan's mouth over hers flips every trigger, pushes every button, answer every single need that no one else she's been with can even touch no matter how hard they fuck her.

Her lips part and her tongue brushes his. It's a slow and soft, breath traded for breath, even more than a kiss. It's huge, but she doesn't run. Just lets it go on and on and on.

[duerespectguv]

It feels natural to roll them slightly and put Kate under him and Declan does, his teeth teasing at her lower lip for a moment before he's kissing her again. He hasn't kissed like this in years, possibly never, and it feels good to not rush it and just go where it takes him.

He's never been the kind of man to engage in long stretches of kissing just for kissing's sake but now, because it's the only real sexual contact he can have with Kate, he's savoring it.

[girlsolo.livejournal.com]

All her life, Kate's never wanted this, not that she can remember. She's never wanted to be pinned under a guy, sharing long, sweet, slow kisses that stretch out for hours and days. That's a lie she's told herself forever, but it's a lie Declan makes it okay not to believe anymore.

She smiles up at him, lips still pressed against his where they curve, and learns the feel of his chest and shoulder with the pads of her fingers. Soon, she promises him, silently, promises herself, then yields into kisses again.

[duerespectguv]

It takes a while before Declan's able to break away from the kissing, just stroking her hair back off her face and looking at her like the worst kind of sap.

"We were asking questions, weren't we?"

[girlsolo.livejournal.com]

No one's ever looked at her like that before. Like if she wanted to be, she could be his whole world. Her fight or flight impulse kicks hard, but that's only because the rest of her already threw its damn self into this fire.

Her eyes close and she tilts her face into his hand. It's just a simple touch. It shouldn't feel this good. "Tell me something about you that Will and Magnus and Tesla don't know."

[duerespectguv]

"I have four sisters and I was raised by my grandmother," Declan says, reasonably sure none of them know that.

"James is the only person in the network who ever knew that, everyone else merely has my military record. I never told anyone else about my family. So that's for you, then."

[girlsolo.livejournal.com]

"You know a lot about me that no one else knows," Kate says quietly, eyes still closed, but she tilts her head further to kiss his palm.

"I was there the day that Jimmy blew up the PD and my dad got killed. My mom was pregnant and she went into labor from the shock. I was really scared when they took her away into the delivery room. They wouldn't let me go in and my dad didn't come and we had no family in Chicago. That was the first time I ran away. I didn't get far before the cops picked me up but I wouldn't tell them where to take me. It took them four hours to figure it out."

[duerespectguv]

"I'm sorry, Katie," Declan says softly even if it's nothing he should be sorry for or apologize to her about. He feels like someone ought to, even if it has to be someone who wasn't involved at all.

"You just have the one sibling, then?"

[girlsolo.livejournal.com]

Lots of people said they were sorry over the years. Mom. Aunts, uncles, cousins, cops, caseworkers, Magnus. It never really mattered, except the one time with Magnus. Too little too late, since she'd already learned the lesson that no one would be there forever, no one would hold your hand, no one would hold you. She had to do that herself.

It's the true lie. The big one she's been telling herself since Thad was born, and she's going to keep believing it. But tonight, right now, Declan's soft apology, the hand in her hair, the warmth of him looking for nothing but to know her, it pushes at her faith in it.

She kisses him instead of tucking herself into his arms, then nods. "Thad. Makes me look like Mother Theresa, I swear. He's a complete idiot. What about yours?"

[duerespectguv]

"Mostly well-behaved. A banker, an accountant, a solicitor and an artist. That one's younger than me, Moira, and she's always been a little kookier than the rest of us," Declan says, grinning with the memory.

"The others are Elizabeth, Gemma and Clare. I know entirely too much about the habits of women as a result."

[girlsolo.livejournal.com]

"You're good with them, anyway." Kate smiles when she says it and bumps his thigh with her knee. He is good with them, good with her, most of the time. "I probably don't want to know, but what would they think of me?"

She cares, though. That's the problem. She never cares. But it matters what Declan's family would think of her.